Diary Of A Wimpy Kid:Operation Swear-Proof
by the touched
Summary: Greg decides to take revenge on Alex Rider. But first he realizes he has one flaw to perfect, swearing. Filled with even more action and violence than the prequel. Do not try any of these stunts in real life, I do not advocate violence, this is merely a joke and fiction.
1. Chapter 1

It was the first day of high school and two tall looking seniors approached Greg, they looked like they hadn't shaved in a long time. The first one picked up Greg and beat his face into a pulp then they hurled him into the trash can, and he was left for dead. But he wasn't he crawled out and sneaked up on the seniors but they just shoved him to the floor grabbed him and stuffed him in a locker. Hours later someone opened their locker and Greg hurled himself out and he immediately punched the person who opened it in the face then he punched them again, and he kept punching them until their face turned into pulp, then he dragged them out and hurled them at the two seniors who had beaten up Greg. The body bounced off them, but it was enough to get their attention. "Bro! What the hell are you doing!" one of them yelled. Greg wanted to yell all the swear words he knew at them, but he remembered something, he remembered his purpose and his origin. He remembered being shot several times by that Alex boy, he remembered falling down into the chasm, he also remembered crawling out of the chasm getting plastic surgery, he also remembered having the surgeon beat him until he lost his memory, but seeing as he didn't lose his memory, he made a mental note to kill the surgeon later. Greg remembered his purpose of terrorism and realized why he had failed so many times, it came to him in a flash, he simply swore too much. The swearing had torn away at his intelligence and chipped away at his sanity turning him into a deranged lunatic unable to stand up to even a basic fool like Alex Rider, but no more, Greg vowed never to swear again and this time he would be unstoppable. Remembering his purpose Greg grabbed the lock from the open locker and hurled it with all his might at one of the seniors, it hit the seniors skull, and the seniors skull cracked and the senior fell to the ground, brain fluid and blood flowed through the crack in the seniors skull. The other senior looked very upset, and began getting ready to charge and said, "Pablo donna like it when you hurd his friend , Pablo DUNNA LIKE IT!" then Pablo roared and beat his chest like a gorilla and charged towards Greg. Greg merely moved to the side and stuck out his foot, Pablo tripped over and fell onto the floor breaking his nose and causing it to bleed. Greg thought fast, before Pablo could get up he grabbed his backpack and threw it at Pablo's head, the blow knocked Pablo out. Then Greg ran to the chemistry mixed together nitrate,charcoal, and sulfur to make gunpowder, then he grabbed a bottle of sulfuric acid. Greg dumped the sulfuric acid on Pablo's face and it ate through his face, through his brain, and out the other end of his skull and even a little into the floor, then Greg poured the sulfuric acid on the other senior and got the same results. Greg then put the gunpowder in a jar and ran away from school to go find Alex Rider and kill him, but first he had to make a stop to visit a certain surgeon who failed to make him lose his memory.


	2. Chapter 2

Greg needed to find where the surgeon was but he couldn't seem to remember. "Come on, think, think, THINK!" he told himself. Greg couldn't believe how stupid he was, and he couldn't believe he hadn't ever wondered why he didn't ever wonder where his parents were or why his face looked different, or why he didn't remember who he was. But that was all over now and Greg was a better swear-proof person now, you could almost say he was enlightened or he was the touched one. Greg sat down and began meditating hoping the location of the surgeon would come to his mind. "Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om… Om…" Greg opened his eyes, and saw that a large crowd had formed around him.

Suddenly a teenager clad in a black leather jacket, black leather pants, with a baseball cap, lip piercing, nose piercing, ear piercing, a tattoo across both of his arms, greasy blond hair, green eyes, yellow teeth, extremely bad breath, freckled face, with white gloves on his hand, bright red snow boots, a black cape, a belt with a dagger sheathed in it, and a crescent-shaped scar across his cheek, pushed his way through the crowd stopping to punch several people and spit on their faces as well walked up towards Greg and said mockingly, "Aom, Aom, Aom, I'm a fucking meditating hermit, Aom, Aom, Aom, I like to chant nonsense, Aom, Aom, Aom, I'm a Budhi Dao Shit-Head I utter bloody fucking nonsense all the whole goddamn fucking damn day! Aom, Aom, Aom, I'm a little ching-chong meditating ching-ling fucking goddamn bloody meditator!" "Watch your language, stop mocking me, and bothering me." said Greg. "Vatch yur langyage, shtap macking mi, and baddering mi", mockingly said the teenager clad in a black leather jacket, black leather pants, with a baseball cap, lip piercing, nose piercing, ear piercing, a tattoo across both of his arms, greasy blond hair, green eyes, yellow teeth, extremely bad breath, freckled face, with white gloves on his hand, bright red snow boots, a black cape, a belt with a dagger sheathed in it, and a crescent-shaped scar across his cheek, whose name happened to be Vladimir Dracowski, and his name was written on a dog tag which was hung around his neck like a necklace. "Listen bro, do you want to get into a fight or not?" said Greg. "Do yu vand du git inta a fite ur naught?" Vladimir Dracowski replied mockingly. "That's it I'VE HAD THE LAST STRAW!" roared Greg.

Suddenly a man in the crowd walked forward and said, "Did you say The Last Straw, as in the book by the most revered and brilliant author in the entire universe, Jeff Kinney", then the man held up the book, The Last Straw. Greg went into an extreme rage, "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE! HOW DID YOU GET THAT BOOK! I BURNT DOWN THE WHOLE BOOKSTORE WITH THAT BOOK SO HOW DID YOU GET IT!" "That's odd" said the man unaware of the danger he was in and the kind of deranged psychopath he was dealing with, "cause I just bought that book at that bookstore down the street", said the man pointing at a bookstore down the street. Greg went insane his whole vision was blinded with red, he crumpled up into a ball and started sobbing hysterically, then he leaped out ran towards the man with the book, punched the man in the face, then stomped on his throat again and again and again. Finally the man's throat broke and the man died, then Greg grabbed the book chewed it up and spit it out then he stomped on the remains and smeared them all over the floor. Then Greg turned to Vladimir Dracowski, who at this point who had a look of incredible fear, and Greg roared, "NOBODY EVER MOCKS ME AND LIVES TO SPEAK OF IT!" Vladimir Dracowski tried to run away but Greg caught up to him grabbed Vladimir's dagger and stabbed Vladimir in the throat killing him. Then Greg stood up and roared, "ANYONE ELSE HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH ME!" The rest of the crowd fled for their lives. "So that bookstore thinks they can sell those books about me and get away with it?!" Greg said to himself, "Well they're in for the surprise of their lives!" then Greg started chuckling insanely.

Greg sprinted towards the bookstore and leaped through the window, shards of glass flew everywhere and Greg had been lacerated very badly and was bleeding all over, but he didn't feel any pain, since his desire for revenge was far too strong. "HOW DARE YOU SELL SUCH FILTHY GARBAGE IN YOUR STORE!" roared Greg. "Security!" yelled a very annoying extremely morbidly obese lady. "YOU STILL DIDN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION!" roared Greg. Several tall burly security guards burst in wearing full bullet-proof armor and each wielded two AK-47's holding each one in each of their hands. "FREEZE!" they all collectively yelled. Greg was in a corner and he knew it, but out of his fear and panic an extreme surge of adrenaline rose up in him. Greg lifted a table and hurled it at the security guards knocking out half of them. Then with superhuman speed and strength he sprinted towards the guards ripped the AK-47 out of their hand and shot and killed the rest of the guards, then he broke the AK-47 in half with his bare hands.

"NOW YOU WANT TO TALK!" roared Greg. The very annoying extremely morbidly obese lady began trembling. Greg looked at her with a look of such intense hatred it could burn through 1 googolplex light-years of neutronium. The very annoying extremely morbidly obese lady trembled even more. Greg then roared, "FILTHY COWARDS LIKE YOU SHOULD NOT LEAVE YOU STINK AND CORRUPT OUR WORLD MORE THEN IT ALREADY IS!" Then Greg punched her with such force that the very quarks in her body broke apart into strings and formed goop made up of elementary particles and heated up to Planck temperature all over the floor, the force of the impact destroyed the woman's soul and the force of the impact caused a rip in space-time which sucked up the goop that was left of the lady and then the rip sealed. Greg stared at awe at his powers he didn't know he was so powerful, but then the awe faded away and quickly turned into rage, "WHICH FILTHY ONE OF YOU ADVOCATED THE SELLING OF THAT FILTHY PIECE OF RUBBISH TELLING LIES ABOUT ME, BUT THAT RIDICULOUS COWARDLY, IDIOTIC AUTHOR!" roared the audience only trembled Greg only became even more enraged."WHOOOOOOOOOO!" roared Greg with such force that it caused a shockwave that blew everyone back five feet. "I dddid" said a man trembling. Greg rage was now so angry that his whole body caught fire and a puddle of lava formed around Greg's body. The heat emanating from Greg's body could be felt by everyone in the audience. Greg shot lasers from his eye at the trembling man killing him in the spot, but the sight of that cowardly, trembling man being the one to have caused Greg so much pain was too much for him to bear.

Greg roared in pain the rage was too intense his skin cracked and white light shone through, Greg's eyes turned into molten magma and Greg started floating up in the air. Then all the energy was released causing a massive shockwave that destroyed the whole store and a giant fireball rose into the air and formed into plasma the brightness from the ball of plasma dwarfed the brightness of the sun and everyone on the street screamed and curled into a ball trying to shield their eyes and themselves from the brightness and the heat from the plasma, then a few seconds later the plasma ball disappeared, and everyone got up and returned to their business. "What the…" thought Greg.

Alex was just finishing up his morning jog when he felt an immense amount of heat and light blind him, Alex screamed in pain. A few seconds later all that disappeared and Alex felt relief wash over his body. "What the hell was that!" he thought. Suddenly four spirits materialized in front of him, it was his parents, Ian, and Jack. "Alex" they said, "What you just saw was Greg's power" "No way, impossible!" Alex said. "No listen, we have a hypothesis for how Greg got so powerful" they said. "I saw Greg die" said Alex. "He didn't he was too powerful and we think he got his power from when he destroyed Jeff Kinney's typewriter, all the energy from it flooded into Greg making him superpowerful, and whenever he gets mad he experiences that power, you need to stop him, by absorbing his energy back into the typewriter and destroying it for good" said the spirits then they began fading away. "Wait, explain more, I have so much to talk about." "Good-bye" they said and then they disappeared. "Shit!" said Alex," at least I know I have to stop Greg now."


End file.
